When a child is in the RED ZONE

Regulate-Relate-Reason

Use a De-escalation strategy to help your child regulate

Stay Calm

• The calmer you are, the calmer they will feel. 
• Keep your voice steady and matter-of-fact. 
• Get down to their level and make eye contact when you talk. 

Show Empathy

• Acknowledge how they feel: 

“You look frustrated, and it’s okay to feel that way.” 

• When YOU name the feelings you see, the CHILD begins to learn to name them too. 
• Put an arm around the child if appropriate.

Help Solve the Problem

• Something caused the frustration – let them know you can help fix it. 
• Give the child language to articulate their feelings, and to describe to you what happened:

 “Oh no! Your block tower fell over, that probably made you feel so mad/frustrated/sad! Sometimes I like when others can help me fix something that is broken”

“That puzzle does look tricky, I know you can do it on your own, but I can help if you think you need it.”

Have a Calm Down Spot

• Create a calming space for the child to go. Explain to the child that this is a place for taking breaks to calm down, and keep it positive. 
• Stay nearby - Children need to instinctively know that the adults in their lives can handle their BIG, SCARY Emotions.

When your child is regulated:

• Eventually children will wind down and feel ready to return to their learning.
• Offer praise for being able to calm themselves and support a smooth transition into a new activity.

“It looks like you feel better now,” ”You helped yourself calm down!”